Attitude Oz

So one of my favourite online stores is Attitude Oz. Between them and Tragic Beautiful almost all of my gothabilly clothing needs are met. And since I’m *TRYING* to be good so I can save for my next tattoo or three (hence the little tattoo links at the top and bottom of this post, if you should feel like helping me save up for them), I am instead window shopping and posting my most recent lusted for items here.

(Also, if anyone should feel like buying me any or all of these items, I’m a dress size LARGE and shoe size EU40)

2011 – A Year In Review

So it’s been a bit of an up and down year. Ex-bf (bf at the time) got a job with Google, my options for going with were limited so I decided to stay here and return to school, but the distance and difficulties communicating proved too much and the relationship went bust. As did school, but that was for a different reason.
On the up side, new bf, lost weight, new job, going back to school to get into something I actually have some interest in, and have made some awesome new friends.
It has not been a year without drama, but with that drama have come some rather astounding revelations about myself and what I want in my life. I feel like I’m actually beginning to get somewhere these days.
This has also been a year of many, many different hair colours and styles.
And of course the trip to the US. (Wouldn’t want to forget that now, would I? Heartbreak that it was.)

It’s been an interesting year.
And now it’s almost Christmas time. Fun for all. *le sigh*

Anyway, how was your year?

*Le Sigh*

Do you have a friend who is constant drama? Whose life is always going down the toilet? Who is always proclaiming “Woe is me! Why must my life be this way? This isn’t fair! The whole world is out to get me!” Waaaaaaaaah!!!

Yes. I whinge. Yes. From time to time I have a shitty, SHITTY day and I want to stab everyone. But I do something about it. I realise what the impetus is and I work on it. Or if I can’t figure out why I’m feeling so shitty, I do something constructive and try to get some sense of satisfaction from that.
I. Get. Shit. Done.

What I don’t do is complain and complain about how my shitty little life never changes and why can’t I be this or have that or be with this person. My life isn’t shit, and if it gets that way, well then that means I have some work to do. If I want to be something then I take the steps to get onto that track. If I want to be with someone, AND the person in question is a viable option, then I make moves. If they’re not, I move on. (Maybe not quite that simple, but I don’t fucking dwell on it and make them feel bad about it)

If you’re unhappy with your life, change it. If you don’t want to change, then stop complaining.
If you’re unhappy with your relationship, fix it. Sit down with your partner and talk about it. Give them a chance to hear your viewpoint. Listen to theirs. Take some time to think and reflect on what the other has to say. Talk some more. Take steps to get things to work, or pull the pin. If you do nothing, then you don’t get to complain when nothing changes.

I know that life isn’t simple. I know that it takes work to effect the changes you want to see. I know that sometimes things just don’t work out, or aren’t meant to be, or you change your mind. Sometimes you make the wrong choice. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least try.

If you want to be a whingy, apathetic little sod, then so be it. But don’t expect me to hang around whilst you muck about in your pool of pity. Don’t be surprised when I don’t answer your calls. Don’t be surprised when you’re de-friended on Facebook.
If you actually want my help, and you’re actually trying to make your world a better place, I’ll be there in a heartbeat. Otherwise you can just get fucked. I don’t have the time or the energy to waste on your lost cause.

Beyond angry

I am in the worst mood. I am beyond angry, and I have no reason for it. I’m emotionally pent up, with no excuse. I just want to hit things, hurt things, stab things. People shit me and there’s nothing I can do about it. I don’t know if I want to scream or cry. There is not a single part of me that doesn’t feel tense, like something is about to set it all off. ARGH!!!

Tempted

Desperately trying to NOT buy the following:

DAMN YOU TITS N FEATHERS!!!

(For those playing along at home, 28-30″, lol)

Seriously Universe, WTF???

Do you ever have those days where it seems like the Universe is just fucking with you? Today is one of those days for me, and I simply do not have the spoons to deal with it all.

Please, just let me be! Leave my friends alone, just for a little while. Let us all just be happy and content and not surrounded by drama, just for a little while. Please?

A necessary evil…

I’m a little bit evil. I know this. I’m not saying I’m a bad person, because I’m not.

I’m not the kind of evil that is cruel and hurtful, and is out to abuse other people, to exploit them and take from them. I’m not the kind of evil that wants to control, that is selfish and only looking out for myself.

The kind of evil I’m talking about is the part of me that knows that you can’t ALWAYS be the good guy, that sometimes, someone has to take the fall, make the cut, do the shitty, painful thing so that the situation can improve, so that people can move on, so the future can happen. I’m the kind of evil that will tease and provoke and flirt without ever having any intent to take it further, so that you can finally see what it really is that you want from life. I’m the kind of evil that pushes and prods and speaks the truth without ever once covering it up, even if it’s the kind of truth that you don’t want to hear, that you don’t want to face.

I’m the kind of evil that revels in tearing apart the holes, the lies and the denial, pulling apart the pieces of your life so that you can be put back together in one piece.

I’m a little bit evil, but it’s just a part of who I am, and you know you love me for it.

Sooner or later, all things must end…

Just the way of things unfortunately. Currently going through one of those times at the moment, and whilst I know it was meant to be, and that everything will work out for the best in the end, it doesn’t make it any easier.
Thankfully what does make it easier is my family of friends, and the people who make up my life.
Thank-you to the people who listened to me vent.
Thank-you to the people who held me when I needed it.
Thank-you to the people who kept me up until 4am laughing and giggling.
Thank-you to the people who offered to kick some arse on my behalf.
Thank-you to the people who gave me perspective and put me in my place.
Thank-you to the people who didn’t let me get too down on myself.
Thank-you to the people who didn’t judge me as I numbed my pain with booze.
Thank-you to the people who distracted me with trashy tv, cheese, crackers and wine.
Thank-you to the people who understood that I needed more than they could give and let me walk away with good grace and dignity.
Thank-you to the people who just loved me in spite of the fact that I was being a whiny little bitch.
Thank-you all for being there for me when I needed you, even when I didn’t even know what I needed or who I needed it from.
Thank-you for making me feel loved. Thank-you for giving me a place to belong.

Tragic Beautiful

I wish my wardrobe was entirely comprised of things from this store…

Dress me up!

I know it’s still winter here, but I’m already thinking about dresses…